What About Viv?

Her family has been asking that for decades.

Viv is not super intelligent, successful or affluent, but she is fertile. She is the mother of four, stepmom of two and grandmother to 11, going on 12, grandchildren, ages 0-17.

She survives on caffeine, Cabernet Sauvignon and cheesecake.

She likes to garden, read, write and poke holes in the tires of people who hoard toilet paper. She abhors exercise, vacuuming or shopping — mostly because she has never found shoes to match the bags under her eyes.

Her lifetime goal is to use all the cilantro she buys every week before it rots in the vegetable bin. Time is running out.

Favorite Quotes

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

—Dorothy Parker

When is my phone going to learn that I never, ever meant to write ‘ducked up’?

— Olivia Wilde

And you’ll find yourself wishing that you were out there … in Fotta-Fa-Zee and not here in this chair … in the Golden Years Clinic on Century Square… for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair.

“You’re only Old Once” by Dr. Seuss

Let’s build something together.