With Apologies to Cousin Karen

I babysit for my 5-year-old and 7-year-old grandsons on Tuesdays before and after school — let’s call them GS5 and GS7, to prevent my son and his wife from serving me with a protective order.

Last week, while I was doing dishes and the boys were eating bowls of sugary, colored marshmallow cereal (oh yeah, I’m that grandma), GS5 remarked to his older brother that one of his teachers always tells students to “sit down and shut up,” which, he said, was “mean and wooed.”

GS7, being two years wiser in the ways of the world, said, “Aw, forget it, she’s just a Karen.”

A Karen order at Starbucks

GS5 nodded in agreement and shook his head. “Why are there so many Karwins?”

Stunned, I turned from the sink and asked casually, “What is a Karen?”

“A person who talks to their manager and complains about everything,” GS7 replied.

“Don’t forget mean and wooed,” GS5 added, just in case anyone missed the extent of his disdain.

Wanting to see if they really understood the concept of a so-called Karen, I asked, “But surely some Karens are nice?”

“Some are,” GS7 explained, “But they change their name to Brittany or Nicole when they turn nice.”

° ° ° 

(Editors’ note: I’d like to apologize to all of the Karens out there, especially my cousin’s wife and the waitress at the local diner who serves my up-until-now spitless breakfast every Wednesday morning. Karen is a fine name. However, the Janets of the world really need to get their shit together.)


Lovin’ Lucky’s

You gotta love Lucky’s. Well, I do, anyway.

The best in Royal Red Shrimp, fried green tomatoes, crab cakes and ambiance.

And, according to their sign, they serve everyone, regardless of their stance on well, just about anything. My kinda place.

So, if you’re ever in Fort Wayne, and looking to avoid political and social divisiveness, visit The Lucky Turtle Grill & Lucky Moose Lounge on Dupont Road and enjoy some great food and a few martinis.


On the 12th Month of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me …

So, I’ve put up the Christmas decorations and here’s the deal. I am not taking them down until the pandemic is over or has substantially ebbed. That’s when I’m hosting a big Christmas get-together for my family of 50-plus.

If that’s in July or August, so be it. Snow balls or sweaty balls, I’m celebrating Christmas with my family.

I’ve geared up and armed myself with treetop angels and balls of gold in the U.S. vs COVID war.


Vintage Chicks Rock!

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Looking at my circle of friends, most of whom are in their 50s, 60s and 70s, I am amazed at their youthfulness.

Apparently, age is a state of mind, not just a state of saggy skin. (Although, admittedly  when I climb out of the tub and see myself in the bathroom mirror, my state of mind takes a rapid spiral dive to the floor to join my thighs.)

Think about the last high school class reunion you attended (unless you are one of those who can’t stomach reunions, then think about looking up that high school bully who led you down this anti-social path, finding out where he/she lives and filling their car with packing peanuts.) Some people look just as they did decades ago; others look as though they are 10 to 100 years older than they are. Why is that?

Girls at winery Michigan Feb 2016 copy
Cheers to vintage chicks everywhere!

I asked my vintage chick friends and family about this and here’s what I got:

  1. Eat healthy, real food whenever possible.
  2. Get your ZZZZs at night;  take a nap during the day.
  3. Exercise. If you’re too intimidated to work out at a gym, choose an activity you enjoy, like walking — no special instruction or clothing needed. And — bonus! — you can drop off those bills that you’ve procrastinated on mailing. Yay! Electricity for 30 more days!
  4. De-stress. Try meditation, a spiritual retreat or (my sister’s fave) an All About Me, Me, Me day.
  5. Babysit for your grandchildren‡‡ (see No. 3).
  6. Eliminate as many toxins and as many toxic people from your life as possible. If it happens to be your significant other, well, that’s a topic for another time.
  7. Stay informed on current news events, books, movies, social media and pop culture. You may not care for some of it, but hey, it will give you new level of understanding, knowledge and hopefully, empathy.
  8. Always have a Plan B, just in case. (see second sentence in No. 6)
  9. Make a list of places you want to visit and things you’d like to do. (OK, OK – a friggin’ Bucket List!) Even if you don’t accomplish everything on the list, it will motivate you to check off  before you check out, so to speak.
  10. Don’t try to look young — that ship has sailed, honey — but always think young. Never start a sentence with “I’m too old to …” (unless it’s roller skating and I have the shattered wrist scar to prove why this is a bad idea after age 60).

But overall the number one thing to stay young? Laugh, laugh, laugh.

As the late Bob Marley said, “Don’t worry, be happy.”

‡‡Footnote: … only if you don’t have a record with Child Protective Services.